11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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