My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
