i was born a porn star she said
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
