Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
