my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
