belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Are we still banned from the library?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize