kristin has been a bad kristin
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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