you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bring me that man meat
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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