you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize