weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
