so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize