I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
