Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
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I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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