I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
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I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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