what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
