You can't motorboat a personality
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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