He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
