Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
