FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize