Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize