Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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