I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
