If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
