Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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