I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize