i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
