P.S. I can't hear my feet
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize