Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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