...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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