Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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