No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
