just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
