Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
