Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
