i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
