Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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