Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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