I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
tell me about the fingering
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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