I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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