This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this just has baby written all over it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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