ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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