ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
