I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home