What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa