He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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