Define "chronic" masturbator.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
