i just had sex bonerless
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
