some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I should be sponsored by Trojan
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize