apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
