He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize