I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize