the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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