So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
