I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
