Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
