dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
