i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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